I've been talking tonight about...stuff. (slightly drunk, hard to explain meaning. Then again, "stuff" is pretty non-explanatory.)
There was a conversation that I wanted to spout off about, but it's too late and I'm too tired.
This is what I will spout off about:
I have a coworker who has been single for awhile and is very intent on being in a relationship. She has told me how lucky I was to have found someone, so I've been trying to explain the whole story to her.
I think a great deal of the reason that E and I fell in love was because we weren't looking to date anyone. Neither one of us was searching for a relationship. I had been single for two years and had gotten to the point where I honestly didn't care about dating, and E had been out of a relationship for awhile and wasn't worried about dating either. I was happy with myself, my friends who loved me, and my family, so I didn't look at men as dateable/undateable. I looked at them as either people I wanted to be around or people I didn't want to be around. When I met E, I didn't think about dating him, but I knew from the first night we started talking that he would be someone I wanted to be around. To this day , I still say that if we hadn't wound up dating, he would have still been my best friend.
I had already realized that I was a whole person, with or without a boyfriend, so I wasn't trying to impress anyone when I met E. As a result I acted the same around E that I did around anyone else. I was me-- sweet, averagely pretty, bitchy, brutally honest but well meaning, kinda clumsy, not-giving-a-shit me. He was the same way- cute, kind, honest to a fault, idiosycratic, mean-to-people-who-are-deliberately-assholes him. And we liked (and ultimately loved) each other for exactly who we we are. Part of the reason we were attracted to eachother,a HUGE part of the reason we work so well despite diffences, is because we are and have always been the people we claim to be. It's not the only reason I love him, but it is definetely one of the many.
Sorry, this has nothing to do with craft stuff, it's just a mental purging on my part. I've been trying to find the words to explain how I feel in love with E and why I love him so much. My apologies.