Monday, May 21, 2007

I just got off work. I've had to be nice to people all day, lift a lot of heavy objects, tint a lot of paint, and do all of these things while also helping to oversee the training of two other people, which can sometimes be a full-time job in and of itself.

So my question to E this evening was:

Why the hell would I want to go car shopping right now?!?!

This was not a plan we had for the evening, this is something E decided he wanted to do on our way home from work, so it's not like I'm procrastinating or pushing off something we already had set in place. Nonetheless, I'm apparently evil for wanting to avoid a car lot until tomorrow.

As much as I was looking forward to the opportunity to deal with pushy sales people, a rather opinionated (and now rather snippy) boyfriend, and the idea of having to spend money I may or may not have, I think I might have other things to do. Like that root canal I've been meaning to get.

Thursday, May 17, 2007

Not gonna sing a sad song tonight. Gonna dust myself off, gonna do alright


...I will finally get my craft room in order.

....I will find the time to knit and spin and maybe even sew and bead.

...I will come home without paint in my hair.

...I will set up that Etsy shop.

....those plants that are waiting to be repotted will get there. Or they'll die first, thereby eliminating the problem.

...I will learn how everyone else manages to juggle their lives, because the more I think about it, the more I doubt that I am any busier or more stressed than anyone else.

"Someday" seems closer than it used to be, but still not quite close enough. I'm grateful for small victories-- every hard-won inch of knitting (even the gauge swatch) and every little bit of roving that manages to find it's way onto a spindle. I'm grateful for summer, because although the busy season at work is starting and won't let up until October, the days are sunny and warm and give me a renewed sense of life. And I'm grateful for Google Reader, because some days being able to read other people's crafty accomplishments is the only thing that gives me hope for myself!

Someday, the phrase "someday I'll do that" will give way to the phrase "yesterday I did that." I'm looking forward to it (and working forward to it even harder.)

Monday, May 14, 2007

I really wish I knew where our camera was. The whole thing is starting to bug me.

Wednesday, May 02, 2007

don't know what to say about the last week or so. I kind of feel like I'm all over the map emotionally.

I had a wonderful time during Saturday's housewarming bbq. With the help of the wonderful Shelby, I got to make all the foods I love to eat but never have the motivation to make for just myself-- tortellini bites and pita chips (my first attempt!), veggies and deviled eggs and hummus and arthichoke dip. Eric manned the grill while different friends from different parts of our lives talked and laughed and had big glasses of wine. Gus got just about all the petting one dog can handle in an evening, and even got a chance to investigate our friends' new golden retriever puppy.

I realized how generous my friends are-- not knowing that I come from a long line of small army feeders, our fridge was packed with food people brought, and the bar currently holds more booze than when we started. Steph and John, even though they weren't feeling up to attending, still stopped by with tulips and wine. The flowers are still holding strong and I can't help but admire them every time I pass through our dining room.

I looked around my warm little house on Saturday night and felt lucky.

This week, on the other hand, has been one of frustration and fights and changes and uncertainty. Some of the frustration and fights have been resolved, or are atleast on their way towards a resolution. The changes are just beginning. We're hiring a new guy (assuming all of his background checks come out okay), who we're going to be training up from scratch. There's also another big change happening and it was kind of confirmed today, but I still don't know how everything is going to play out, so I'm reserving most of my judgement until I have more information. Either way, it looks like I'm going to be working longer hours and packing more into them. I started to worry about what's going to come, because it seems a lot of important things are up in the air right now where work is involved, but then I decided to stop making myself crazy and just deal with things as they come-- play the hand I'm dealt, as it were. What other choice do I have, really?

...I still wish life would get less complicated for a change though.

My goal for this week is to break out my spindle and roving and get a little bit more accomplished on the "Maple Fire" I'm currently spinning. The last time I picked up was before we got the keys to the condo!