I've been having a hard time keeping the faith lately. Things seemed to have been getting more and more difficult with not much end in sight. Work stuff, home stuff, dog stuff, life stuff, being stuck in one spot on pretty much every project I'm working on, including the non-craft ones..... it drags me under the surface sometimes. I felt myself starting to avoid people, mentally cancelling plans I've already made with friends, sleeping all the time or not at all-- all the warning signs of a bout of depression setting in, the kind where I become a melancholy recluse and no one hears from me for a month.
Moments like that I start to wonder how it's so damn easy for everyone else.
...but a friend's situation and a conversation with my mom reminded me that there are problems bigger than my own and no one really has it figured out as much as I think they do.
It's funny how a little thing like that may have just pulled me back from the edge.
Showing posts with label stress. Show all posts
Showing posts with label stress. Show all posts
Tuesday, October 30, 2007
Tuesday, October 23, 2007
Hey, gotta keep trying. Gotta keep holding on to whatchagot (which sure ain't a lot)
Why does it seem like when you want things to stay the same, they up and change on you, but when a little change might be nice, you start living life like it's Groundhog Day?
Life has been in a sort of doldrums. To the point where even working up the energy to think about anything (like working on one of the 2493762 UFOs I have) more work than it's worth. In the last two weeks, I have finished a sock. That's it, just one sock. The same Uzume sock I'd been working on for over a month. While I should herald that as progress, I can't seem to get myself started on the other one and, really, what the hell good is just on sock?
Consequently, I've been avoiding ravelry for a week or two as well, and skimming through all of the fabulous knitting blogs I read. I'm terribly happy for all the folks who went to Rhinebeck and enjoyed the hell out of themselves, but reading too much about it might just make me stab myself in the eye.
(See how morose I've become? It's just pitiful.)
But when I woke up this morning on my day off, the rain and clouds had blown away to reveal a beautiful, rather balmy fall day. It seems like a sign that today is the day to kick myself out of my funk.
I started by just thinking about good things, like the spinning wheel I'm saving up for, and whether I should take some of that spinning wheel money and put it towards a spinning class. It would set me back a month or two from buying one, but then again I'd have a better idea of how to use it then. As far as problems go, it's a pretty good one to have.
Now, it's time to shower and get some stuff done.
The to do list for today:
-felt a sweater Gus got ahold of last night*
-Work out some Halloween costume details
-make trips to the following places:
-make soup
-dye my hair
-return the batteries I bought and get the right ones
-take mucho pictures of all WIPs, FOs, and whatever the heck else
*And of course, it just had to be my favorite cardigan that he chewed holes through. My oh-so-wonderful purple 100% cashmere cardigan that I found at Goodwill for $8.00. I atleast have to give it to him-- Gus has got good taste.
Life has been in a sort of doldrums. To the point where even working up the energy to think about anything (like working on one of the 2493762 UFOs I have) more work than it's worth. In the last two weeks, I have finished a sock. That's it, just one sock. The same Uzume sock I'd been working on for over a month. While I should herald that as progress, I can't seem to get myself started on the other one and, really, what the hell good is just on sock?
Consequently, I've been avoiding ravelry for a week or two as well, and skimming through all of the fabulous knitting blogs I read. I'm terribly happy for all the folks who went to Rhinebeck and enjoyed the hell out of themselves, but reading too much about it might just make me stab myself in the eye.
(See how morose I've become? It's just pitiful.)
But when I woke up this morning on my day off, the rain and clouds had blown away to reveal a beautiful, rather balmy fall day. It seems like a sign that today is the day to kick myself out of my funk.
I started by just thinking about good things, like the spinning wheel I'm saving up for, and whether I should take some of that spinning wheel money and put it towards a spinning class. It would set me back a month or two from buying one, but then again I'd have a better idea of how to use it then. As far as problems go, it's a pretty good one to have.
Now, it's time to shower and get some stuff done.
The to do list for today:
-felt a sweater Gus got ahold of last night*
-Work out some Halloween costume details
-make trips to the following places:
- craft store
- hardware store
- Goodwill
- possibly Old Navy
-make soup
-dye my hair
-return the batteries I bought and get the right ones
-take mucho pictures of all WIPs, FOs, and whatever the heck else
*And of course, it just had to be my favorite cardigan that he chewed holes through. My oh-so-wonderful purple 100% cashmere cardigan that I found at Goodwill for $8.00. I atleast have to give it to him-- Gus has got good taste.
Thursday, May 17, 2007
Not gonna sing a sad song tonight. Gonna dust myself off, gonna do alright
Someday....
...I will finally get my craft room in order.
....I will find the time to knit and spin and maybe even sew and bead.
...I will come home without paint in my hair.
...I will set up that Etsy shop.
....those plants that are waiting to be repotted will get there. Or they'll die first, thereby eliminating the problem.
...I will learn how everyone else manages to juggle their lives, because the more I think about it, the more I doubt that I am any busier or more stressed than anyone else.
"Someday" seems closer than it used to be, but still not quite close enough. I'm grateful for small victories-- every hard-won inch of knitting (even the gauge swatch) and every little bit of roving that manages to find it's way onto a spindle. I'm grateful for summer, because although the busy season at work is starting and won't let up until October, the days are sunny and warm and give me a renewed sense of life. And I'm grateful for Google Reader, because some days being able to read other people's crafty accomplishments is the only thing that gives me hope for myself!
Someday, the phrase "someday I'll do that" will give way to the phrase "yesterday I did that." I'm looking forward to it (and working forward to it even harder.)
...I will finally get my craft room in order.
....I will find the time to knit and spin and maybe even sew and bead.
...I will come home without paint in my hair.
...I will set up that Etsy shop.
....those plants that are waiting to be repotted will get there. Or they'll die first, thereby eliminating the problem.
...I will learn how everyone else manages to juggle their lives, because the more I think about it, the more I doubt that I am any busier or more stressed than anyone else.
"Someday" seems closer than it used to be, but still not quite close enough. I'm grateful for small victories-- every hard-won inch of knitting (even the gauge swatch) and every little bit of roving that manages to find it's way onto a spindle. I'm grateful for summer, because although the busy season at work is starting and won't let up until October, the days are sunny and warm and give me a renewed sense of life. And I'm grateful for Google Reader, because some days being able to read other people's crafty accomplishments is the only thing that gives me hope for myself!
Someday, the phrase "someday I'll do that" will give way to the phrase "yesterday I did that." I'm looking forward to it (and working forward to it even harder.)
Sunday, February 25, 2007
Don't stop believin', hold onto that feeling.....
This has not been a good month for knitting. Not at all.
After I finished the purse, I put down the needles for almost two weeks. All the projects I have going require thought/math/focus that I just haven't had in me lately. Between changing jobs, buying a condo (!), counseling my best friends through their (possibly temporary?) break-up, finding out my father got married in Vegas last weekend, and everything else, who could think about knitting?
Problem is, knitting is my stress reliever. And, dear god, has there been a lot of stress. So I'm busting out a mindless project this week: a wrap cowl thingie made from Di.Ve' Teseo that I picked up not too long ago. I made the cable keyhole scarf (note to self: you still need to block that) from the same yarn in a different colorway and just love the color transitions. Rather than make something with deliberate, noticable stripes, I decided this to do something in the round that used the colors in more of a space-dyed fashion.
I call it a mindless project because, other than making sure not to drop a stitch, it requires no thinking at all. Like, really. The middle section is a random knit/purl combination that (hopefully) will create a random spacing of purl stripes on the knit background. As I'm going around, I will from time to time look down at my knitting and think I feel like purling now. So I do. I think/hope it will look awesome, but when I tried to write the whole thing down (something I've been trying to do as I knit lately at the request of a friend), it came out kind of like this:
Cast on 200 stitches.
Work in k4, p4 rib for about an inch or so, whatever you fancy.
Row ?: Throw in an eyelet row, just for fun-- k2, yo, k2tog.
Work rounds in double moss stitch until first ball runs out
Join new ball and work in random kp stitch pattern until you run out of yarn again
Join last ball and work in double moss stitch again, making sure to leave enough to do another eyelet row and an inch (or so) of the k4, p4 rib.
Bind off.
Double Moss stitch:
Rows 1 and 2: k2, p2, repeat to end.
Rows 3 and 4: p2, k2, repeat to end.
Repeat rows 1-4.
Random kp stitch pattern:
Knit sometimes, then purl sometimes, in whatever combination you choose.
Maybe k20, then purl 20, or only purl every five minutes for thirty seconds at a time.
Just make each round a little different from the one before and try not to create a repeating pattern.
Um....yeah. The whole thing sounds pretty dumb when I write it down. This is why I don't write patterns.
After I finished the purse, I put down the needles for almost two weeks. All the projects I have going require thought/math/focus that I just haven't had in me lately. Between changing jobs, buying a condo (!), counseling my best friends through their (possibly temporary?) break-up, finding out my father got married in Vegas last weekend, and everything else, who could think about knitting?
Problem is, knitting is my stress reliever. And, dear god, has there been a lot of stress. So I'm busting out a mindless project this week: a wrap cowl thingie made from Di.Ve' Teseo that I picked up not too long ago. I made the cable keyhole scarf (note to self: you still need to block that) from the same yarn in a different colorway and just love the color transitions. Rather than make something with deliberate, noticable stripes, I decided this to do something in the round that used the colors in more of a space-dyed fashion.
I call it a mindless project because, other than making sure not to drop a stitch, it requires no thinking at all. Like, really. The middle section is a random knit/purl combination that (hopefully) will create a random spacing of purl stripes on the knit background. As I'm going around, I will from time to time look down at my knitting and think I feel like purling now. So I do. I think/hope it will look awesome, but when I tried to write the whole thing down (something I've been trying to do as I knit lately at the request of a friend), it came out kind of like this:
Cast on 200 stitches.
Work in k4, p4 rib for about an inch or so, whatever you fancy.
Row ?: Throw in an eyelet row, just for fun-- k2, yo, k2tog.
Work rounds in double moss stitch until first ball runs out
Join new ball and work in random kp stitch pattern until you run out of yarn again
Join last ball and work in double moss stitch again, making sure to leave enough to do another eyelet row and an inch (or so) of the k4, p4 rib.
Bind off.
Double Moss stitch:
Rows 1 and 2: k2, p2, repeat to end.
Rows 3 and 4: p2, k2, repeat to end.
Repeat rows 1-4.
Random kp stitch pattern:
Knit sometimes, then purl sometimes, in whatever combination you choose.
Maybe k20, then purl 20, or only purl every five minutes for thirty seconds at a time.
Just make each round a little different from the one before and try not to create a repeating pattern.
Um....yeah. The whole thing sounds pretty dumb when I write it down. This is why I don't write patterns.
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